Does your baby sleep through much of the day and then, just when the house goes quiet and everyone would like to rest, decide to stay awake, feed, look at everything around and ask to be held?
This is so common in the first months that many families say the baby simply “has day and night mixed up”.
For anyone welcoming a newborn — and especially for families with twins — broken nights can be really exhausting. But most of the time, this behavior is part of the baby's adjustment to life outside the womb.
In the first months, the body is still developing a more organized rhythm between sleep and wake periods. That's why a baby may sleep a lot during the day and spend long periods awake precisely at night.
The good news is that a few simple steps can help the baby gradually realize that day and night are different times.
Why can a newborn mix up day and night?
A newborn's sleep works very differently from an adult's.
In the first months, sleep cycles are still immature and the baby usually alternates short periods of sleep and wakefulness throughout the 24 hours. Feeding, the need for closeness, diaper changes and neurological development also influence these wakings.
That's why expecting a newborn to sleep through the night can create an expectation that is hard to meet.
The American Academy of Pediatrics explains that babies don't yet have regular sleep cycles in the first months of life. Little by little, as the body matures, longer stretches of sleep tend to shift to the night.
It doesn't mean the family is doing something wrong. It's a developmental process.
How to help your baby tell day from night
One of the simplest strategies is to create a contrast between the two periods.
When the baby is awake:
- open the curtains and let natural light in;
- talk, cuddle and interact;
- keep the normal household sounds;
- make the most of the times they're awake to play in age-appropriate ways;
- keep up the family's normal activities.
There's no need to turn the house into a library every time the baby naps.
The Caderneta da Criança (Brazil's official child health booklet), from Brazil's Ministry of Health, itself advises that daytime sleep can happen in a normally lit environment with the usual household sounds.
This also doesn't mean stopping the baby from sleeping during the day or keeping them awake on purpose so they'll be tired at night. Newborns need a lot of sleep.
The idea is simply to show, naturally, that daytime is brighter and more active.
And at night?
At night, do pretty much the opposite.
Dim the lights, speak more softly and try to keep feedings, changes and other care calm and to the point.
If the baby wakes up to feed, for example, there's no need to turn on all the lights, put on music or use the moment to play.
Finished feeding, burped and comfortable? The environment can stay calm to help them get back to sleep.
This distinction between a bright, active day and a dark, calm night is recommended both by Brazil's Ministry of Health and by international pediatric guidance.
Creating a routine can help
As the baby grows, small rituals can also help them understand that sleep time is coming.
It doesn't need to be a long routine.
It could be something like:
bath → comfortable clothes → feeding → dimmer light → quiet cuddles → crib.
What matters most is repetition.
Over time, these cues start to feel familiar to the baby.
But try not to turn schedules into a race against the clock. Especially in the first months, hunger, developmental leaps, growth, discomfort and other needs can completely change the pattern from one night to the next.
Do I need to change the diaper every time they wake up?
Not necessarily.
During the night, try to do only what's needed to keep the baby comfortable.
If a change is needed, do everything with soft lighting and little stimulation so that moment doesn't turn into a big activity in the middle of the night.
Frequent diaper changes are also part of preventing diaper rash, especially after a bowel movement or when the skin is irritated.
One strategy that helps a lot is keeping everything you usually need close to the changing area:
diapers, cotton or whatever hygiene items the family uses, a change of clothes and the products recommended for the baby's skin.
The less treasure hunting at three in the morning, the better for everyone.
Safe sleep comes before any routine
More important than getting the baby to “sleep through the night” is making sure they sleep safely.
For all sleep periods — including naps — babies under one year old should initially be placed on their back, on a firm, flat, non-inclined surface.
The sleep space should be free of soft or loose objects, such as:
- pillows;
- cushions;
- padded bumpers;
- stuffed animals;
- loose blankets or throws;
- comfort blankets (lovies) and other objects that could cover the face.
The Brazilian Society of Pediatrics (SBP) reinforces these guidelines as measures to reduce the risk of sudden death and suffocation during sleep.
And when the baby starts rolling over?
Keep placing the baby on their back at the start of every sleep.
Once they can roll on their own from back to tummy and also roll back on their own, there's no need to spend the whole night turning the baby over again.
At this stage, they can stay in whatever position they get into on their own during sleep.
And with twins?
With two babies, organizing the night can feel almost like a small logistics operation.
When possible, splitting tasks between caregivers can make a huge difference. While one person feeds one baby, for example, the other can look after the second or get things ready for the next feeding.
It's also important to remember that twins won't necessarily have the same sleep pattern.
One may start sleeping longer stretches before the other — and that's normal.
When it comes to where they sleep, the same safe sleep rules should apply to each baby. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that babies sleep in the same room as their parents in the first months, but on their own sleep surface instead of sharing the adults' bed. This recommendation also applies to twins and other multiples.
Some international guidance allows very small twins to share a crib under specific circumstances during the first weeks, but safety conditions change as they grow and start moving or rolling. That's why families with multiples should talk to the pediatrician about the safest setup for each baby.
“My friend's baby already sleeps through the night.”
This comparison usually comes up quickly — and it almost never helps.
There's huge variation between babies.
Some start concentrating longer stretches of sleep at night earlier. Others keep waking up for quite a while.
And waking at night doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem.
More useful than comparing hours of sleep is looking at the baby as a whole: feeding, weight gain, alertness when awake, development and the guidance received during pediatric checkups.
Caring for the caregiver matters too
Weeks of interrupted nights can take a real toll.
If someone else is available, sharing feedings, changes, holding and other care can let each caregiver get at least a few longer stretches of rest.
With twins, this support network can be even more important.
There doesn't need to be a perfect 50% split for each person. The goal is to avoid all the nighttime care constantly falling on one single person.
And accepting help with food, cleaning the house or other tasks counts too. Not all help has to involve the baby directly.
When should you talk to the pediatrician?
Mixing up day and night is usually part of the first months, but some situations deserve professional assessment.
Seek advice especially if the baby:
- is very hard to wake for feedings;
- has significant difficulty feeding;
- shows a significant change in their usual behavior;
- has difficulty breathing;
- isn't gaining weight properly;
- has episodes that worry the family.
It's also worth talking to the pediatrician whenever you have questions about how much or how well the baby is sleeping.
Little by little, the clock falls into rhythm
In the first weeks, it may seem impossible to imagine the house sleeping through the night again.
But a baby's sleep pattern changes a lot over the first year.
You don't need to “teach” a newborn to sleep like an adult. What you can do is provide safety, respond to the baby's needs and offer consistent cues that day is bright and active and night is calm and dark.
The rest comes as the body matures.
And in the meantime, if there's a chance to share the night shift with someone… take it.
Your pillow will thank you.
Still have questions?
If you use Nilu, you can talk to Luna about organizing your routine, sleep and baby care. She can help you organize your questions and recognize when it's important to see the pediatrician or another health professional.
> Important: this content is educational and does not replace medical assessment or follow-up. Every baby has their own characteristics and needs.
Sources and references
- Brazil's Ministry of Health — Caderneta da Criança (child health booklet) and guidance on baby sleep.
- Brazil's Ministry of Health — Child Care Pathway / newborn care.
- Brazilian Society of Pediatrics — Recommendations for safe sleep and prevention of sudden infant death.
- American Academy of Pediatrics / HealthyChildren.org — sleep patterns and telling day from night.
- NHS — newborn sleep and guidance for families with twins.